This topic brought a large smile to my face, as I was able to fully relate to it. I find the timing of our eldest son absolutely amazing. As parents we engage in conversations with both our children on a daily basis. This starts in the morning with ‘good morning Jonathan’ and ‘good morning Joshua.’ This is then followed with a big hug and ‘it is lovely to see you again this morning’ and the conversation continues. Our children are an integral part of our lives and as such we go out together and do activities together, as do other parents.
I find that no matter how much we engage in conversations, especially with our eldest son, he tends to interrupt our conversations. It usually happens when we are out in the car together. I suppose a part of me has now come to expect it. Jonathan would usually start by saying ‘dad, daddy, daddy.’ I remember when this first happened and my husband said ‘yes son’. On the second occasion my husband said ‘Jonathan’ I am talking to your mummy and you must say ‘excuse me.’ Since then Jonathan says ‘excuse me,’ as requested.
When Jonathan now says ‘excuse me daddy and mummy’, I wait patiently whilst he makes his point or asks his question. One of the primary differences with children is that they are not as adept as adults at controlling what they want to say and when they want to say it. This kind of control comes with age and also with experience.
Children need to be taught that their points of view are just as important, however, sometimes they may need to be asked to wait a minute. There have been occasions when I have been talking to a member of my extended family and either Jonathan or Joshua would try to interrupt the conversation. I simply say, ‘Jonathan / Joshua darling mummy is talking to auntie / uncle … and will be with you in one minute. Children, like adults should not be kept waiting and as parents it is necessary to be as attentive to our children as possible.
As adults we sometimes have things that we want to say so desperately and I am sure children often feel this way. To children interrupting seems the only course of action. Children see it not so much as interrupting, but more as saying what they feel they have to say at that given moment. As parents we must exercise patience and restrain from becoming angry and irrational. When Jonathan and Joshua say ‘excuse me’ and wait for the go ahead to make their points we then praise them. Good manners should never be taken for granted, especially good manners from children.
Donna Cox mother to Jonathan and Joshua, UK.
